Tit For Tat Relationship

Ever witnessed two children playing and one comes to hit the other playfully?

“Tit.”

and then the other person hits the other just as playfully, “Tat.”

“Tit-.”

“Tat-.”

On and on it goes and suddenly what was once playful becomes aggressive,

“Tit!”

“Tat!!!”

Then you see them rolling around in blows and punches, unable to even remember how it all started.

Tit for tat relationships are just like that.

Tit for tat, as you may already know, is an English saying which means ‘equivalent retaliation’ and in a lay man’s terms, “What you do to me, I do to you.”

In the course of Queen Esther Preparation, the Lord has been laying on my heart that the habit of retaliation is what has caused many to lose their homes, jobs, relationships, marriages and even career.

For you, it may even be subtle, perhaps a colleague may have used your folder and not returned it and now, you decide you will take two of your colleagues folders and not return it either just because, “Thats the same thing she did to me.”

So the cycle goes on and on and suddenly there are grudges between the two of you where neither of you even recall how it came to be.

Perhaps in your relationship with your babe, spouse, friend or even colleague, it may have started with not being there when the other person calls and so, the person decides not to be there on two other occasions for the other and hence it goes on and on, so that eventually you are both now so out of touch and distant with one another.

The interesting thing is that, the saying isn’t tit for tit yet rather tit for tat; this insinuates to me that usually the retaliation is even worse than what was initially meted out.

Jesus knew that retaliation is not the answer in relationships, thats why He said, “You have heard that it is said, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also’ (ESV Matthew 5:38-40)

Don’t meet evil with evil; meet evil with good. Just because that friend did not call you on your birthday does not mean you also do not have to call her on her birthday- who knows if she plays a role in your destiny and because of your pride, you have missed out?

Queen Esther was also faced with an opportunity to decide to have a tit for tat relationship with the king! For thirty days the king had not called her to him! When Mordecai came to her for help, she could easily have put her want for retaliation above the situation. She could easily have said, “The king has not called to me these 30 days so I am also not going to try and see him for 31 extra days.”

Imagine what would have happened to the Jews if Queen Esther decided to have a tit for tat relationship? However, because she chose not to do so, she received the deliverance of the Jews, thereby fulfilling this scripture:

“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” (NIV 1 Peter 3:9)

You inherit a blessing when you do not have a tit for tat nature!

When my king and I first started dating, we established this ground rule. No tit for tat with us. No ‘because I didn’t make it to your event, I will also stay at home when it is time for yours.’ No getting back at each other and this decision has been a blessing.

In your season of preparation, QEP encourages you to do same,

Jesus Loves You and I do too,

Queens in Christ Jesus,
 ❤