A Woman’s Emotional Blackmail

Fred and Joanna enter into a Marks and Spencer shop on Oxford Street.

“The things here are so lovely!.” gushed Joanna.

“Glad you like them.” said Fred, dutifully following his bride-to- be around the shop.

“Oh my goodness! Look at this white blazer! I need to get it.” said Joanna, rushing to the blazer.

“- it will look great on you- but we can’t get it now, bae. It’s not why we are here. We came to get the scented candles for your mom-.”

“- but.”

“- bae, please let’s get your blazer later. The candles are over there. Let’s get it so we can drop it off with your mom before it gets late.”

“Humph.” was all Joanna could manage.

Twenty minutes later, with their candles packaged, Fred and Joanna began to drive down to her mom’s home. All this while, Fred had launched into talking about business and all that had happened in his day. It was only when he was climaxing his conversation that he realised Joanna had not spoken a word.

“What’s wrong bae?”




He glanced at her while he drove and saw that she was not looking at him at all but out her side window.

“Bae, seriously, what’s wrong?”


Fred sighed and then began to list the things he thought may have caused her to be this way all of a sudden however, nothing he mentioned seemed to give.

“Bae, I don’t understand. Everything was fine. You were happy when we entered the shop- you were happy when you saw the white blazer- you-.”

Joanna cleared her throat.

Fred’s eyes widened as it suddenly dawned on him.

“The white blazer??”

Joanna looked at him then.

“Is that why you are not talking to me?” Fred asked.

“I wanted it. You are supposed to provide.” Joanna spoke up; trying to guilt-trip him.


“It’s your obligation…” she added.

“Bae, don’t be like that-.”

“- don’t be like what? This makes me wonder if I want to get married at all…” said Joanna, choosing to imbibe fear into him.

Fred sighed and said, “Okay, what do I do to make this right?”

“- get me the blazer!” demanded Joanna.

Haahaa, Joanna though; she’s totally using emotional blackmail here.

As you read about Fred and Joanna, I hope you noticed the words I bolded above which are; guilt, obligation, demand and fear. Basically, emotional blackmail works like that where one makes use of fear, obligation and guilt to control the other person:

And I think women are chief at that.

In the Bible, we see one particular woman who carried the art of emotional blackmail into her marriage.


“And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, “Give me children, or else I die.” (KJV Genesis 30:1)

O Rachel! Why guilt trip Jacob so, with your emotions?

We can argue and say, see what she’s going through, she couldn’t help it.

True- what she was going through was overwhelming however, the Shunnamite woman also bore no children yet when confronted with situations, she rather said “It is well,” and did not go placing blame on her husband for things only God can give. (You can read more of the Shunnamite woman here).

“And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, “Give me children, or else I die.”Jacob’s anger was kindled towards Rachel, and he said, “Am I in the place of God, who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?” (KJV Genesis 30:1)

No wonder Jacob was upset.

In this Queen Esther Preparation journey; please don’t emotionally blackmail your spouse, friend or fiancé into doing something for you or having your way. As you can see, in Genesis 30:1-2; when Rachel tried to do same; she rather caused problems between her and her spouse.

Queen Esther didn’t go by way of emotional blackmail even when she hadn’t seen her king for 30 days.

Queen, learn to not emotionally blackmail your way into receiving the things you want in this life.

Believe God to be your vindicator!

It is well with you;

Jesus Loves You and I do too,

Queens in Christ,

4 comments Add yours

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *