Number one criteria for choosing who or who not to marry:
Don’t marry a fool.
The fool says in his heart there is no God (ESV Psalm 14:1)
In the course of this Queen Esther Preparation journey, I happened to listen to a teaching by Lady Rev Adelaide and she mentioned this as being the number one criteria for choosing who to or who not to marry:
“Don’t marry a fool.”
Because the fool says in his heart there is no God.
Abigail in the Bible?
Well, she married a fool.
I’ll bet this is how it played out:
“Nabal is such a wealthy man here in Maon. He has 3000 sheep and 1000 goats! When you marry him, you will have nothing to worry about. There will be so much money at your beck and call.” said Abigail’s aunt when they came in to tell her of Nabal’s proposal for her hand in marriage.
Abigail shook her head, “I learnt the name Nabal means fool-.”
“- yes it does but-.”
“- and I have also heard he’s crude and mean in all his dealings.”
“- what does that matter when you are wearing one of the finest robes in town?” probed her aunt.
Abigail considered this. ‘After all, having a man who has so much wealth surely is the key to the happiness of my future, she thought to herself, and who knows… maybe I can share with him my wisdom and this will cause him to change from being a fool.’
With this thought, Abigail married Nabal.
She was sad however to realise that the fool (Nabal) remained a fool during their marriage.
Throughout her marriage, she had to make up for the foolish deeds of her husband. So when she learnt of the ill treatment her husband Nabal gave towards David; she rushed again to cover for his foolishness as the scripture says:
“When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed low before him. She fell at his feet and said, I accept blame in this matter, my Lord. Please listen to what I have to say. I know Nabal is a wicked and ill tempered man; please don’t pay attention to him. He is a fool, just as his name suggests.” (NLT 1 Samuel 24:23-25)
After this interaction with David, he asked for her hand in marriage.
Why didn’t Abigail stay with the household of Nabal especially since at the time that David asked her hand in marriage, he was not yet King over all Israel and he barely even had a place to stay?
Queen Esther Preparation believes that this is because Abigail knew it was better to start little with a wise man than to start big with a foolish man. She had tasted what it was like to be with a fool hence upon basking in the wisdom of David, she was ever ready to be with him.
See how excited Abigail was to leave the household of a foolish man:
“When the messengers arrived at Carmel, they told Abigail, “David has sent to take you back to marry him.” She bowed low to the ground and responded, “I, your servant would be happy to marry David. I would even be willing to become a slave, washing the feet of his servants! Quickly getting ready, she took along five of her servant girls as attendants, mounted her donkey, and went with David’s messengers. And so she became his wife.” (NLT 1 Samuel 25: 41-42)
In no way am I being uncouth by referring to someone as a fool. I am simply stating what the Bible says.
So Queen, in your preparation before you take that decision to go into that job, that contract, that marriage; ask yourself- is there wisdom in this?
Is the company carrying out their affairs as a company that knows there is God?
Is that music label you wish to sign with acting as though there is God?
Is that man you are looking to date, court and marry know there is God?
Mind you, don’t let the person’s appearance every Sunday at church fool you into ending up with a foolish person.
A person; man or woman that knows there is God; fears God. If he’s tossing you around and treating you like you are nothing; its a clear sign he has no fear of God. It’s a sign he knows no God. Hence, he is a fool.
Just as Nabal the fool did not recognise Abigail for the wise woman that she was; so will a man who is a fool (who says in his heart there is no God) not honour your worth in his life, Queen.
Check the fruits.
Don’t marry a fool.
It is well with you,
May the will of God be done in every sphere of your life!
Jesus Loves You and I do too,
Queens in Christ,