“Who is your Mordecai?”

A Mordecai in this context is someone that gives you good counsel.

Often times we have the mentality of, it’s us against the world when we find our new boo or bae. We don’t let anyone in. There’s this defensive streak to us and we emit a, “You can’t tell us what to do,” attitude. Or, “Our love is stronger than yours.” Or, “My bae and I don’t need anyone to make it in this life.”

That’s normal. Adam and Eve’s relationship played out the same way. He and Eve in the garden of Eden also shoved God out of their relationship when they sort counsel from one another over the forbidden fruit and did not include God. When that stupid pride of having a relationship comes in, we tend to dismiss the advice from anyone who is not boo or bae.

While that is all cute and mushy, I am learning in this period that its not wise to be dating for so long, only to cram the only moments of seeking advice into 3 months or less.

Quite recently, I visited a fellowship and the leader, Mishael said something that I thought was very profound. He said, “Counselling needs to start the moment the two people decide to be together.”

Did you get that?

Counselling needs to start the moment you decide that this is the person I want to be with for the rest of my life.

You are probably saying, “Whoa… slow down, are you saying the moment I meet him, I have to drag him in for counselling?”


Let me explain what the Holy Spirit was laying on my heart about accountability.

You see, when you allow someone in to counsel you and your new found boo on your relationship, you are held accountable in that; whenever something goes wrong, there is someone who can step in to hear both sides and try to patch things up in the name of the Lord.

I am not saying you have to go and do the official counselling at church immediately but I am saying there is the need for you to have a Mordecai, that is, someone on the look out for you and your boo, who is outside the relationship that can be giving you sound advice from the get go. This Mordecai can actually save the relationship!

On this day with Mordecai sitting at the King’s Gate, Bigthana and Teresh, two of the king’s eunuchs who guarded the entrance, had it in for the king and were making plans to kill King Ahasuerus. But Mordecai learned of the plot and told Queen Esther, who then told, King Ahasuerus, giving credit to Mordecai. When the thing was investigated and confirmed as true, the two men were hanged on a gallows… (ESV 2:21-23)

If Queen Esther did not regard the counsel of Mordecai, she could have lost her king!

Imagine that!

You can save yourself a lot of trouble by seeking counsel. Here are a few pointers on what to look out for when seeking a Mordecai:

“All the King’s servants at the King’s Gate used to honor him by bowing down and kneeling before Haman… except Mordecai. Mordecai wouldn’t do it, wouldn’t bow down and kneel…” (ESV Esther 3:1-3)

  1. A Mordecai does not bow down to a Haman or any other name, except the name of Jesus.

Everyday Mordecai strolled beside the court of the harem to find out how Esther was and get news of what she was doing (ESV Esther 2:11)

2. A Mordecai actually cares about you and your king to be and wishes to know how you are doing everyday.

“Don’t think that just because you live in the king’s house you’re the one Jew who will get out of this alive.” (ESV Esther 4:12)

3. A Mordecai pokes some sense into you and stirs you up to pray!

Let’s face it. You and your ex broke up because you did not allow anyone in and when the worst came; there was no one to patch things up with wisdom. Either that, or one person was so stubborn headed that they did not listen to the Mordecai. You don’t have to have found the man you want to be with before you seek counsel. Seek counsel now; so that you will be prepared when the time comes.

For me, my dad is a major Mordecai in my life, as shown in the featured picture (his hands alone show such wisdom; don’t you think?). I also adhere to the teachings of my presiding Bishop and anointed men and women of God.

Your Mordecai can be female and basically anyone that can give sound counsel to you on this Queen Esther Preparation journey. Know however, that above all, Jesus Christ is your Chief Counsellor.

So, whether its towards a business you want to start or a dream you wish to see manifest- seek counsel for it to materialise.

“Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed (ESV Proverbs 15:22)

Even Simba sought out counsel from Mufasa.

So… who is your Mordecai?

Jesus loves you and I do too,

Queens in Christ,



10 comments Add yours
  1. Enjoyed reading this. I also ascribe to the principle of seeking godly counsel before during and after you decide to marry. It’s better to wait and build your foundation on the solid rock, than wait till you are all excited about the wedding planning that you cannot heed to advise or even discern the instructions of the spirit. Thanks Ann 😊

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